Stretch & Burn

Party all night, sleep all day! That's what I call my weekend. Only it's not such a hot party mainly because I'm home alone. Sad ain't it?

Anyhow, this is just an intro. The real post starts below:

Surely, I don't know how long this hurdle is going to stay here. It's been turning on and off for some time now. And just when I thought it was over, a tiny spark is seen, ending up with a flare and a boom and a pop and a bang!

And with that, comes the painfully familiar relief of water, accompanied by the guilt and misery of knowing that it was I who destroyed my own creation. What a pain..

It is one thing to see your hardwork and efforts go down the drain at the hands of an enemy. It is another thing to watch on the sidelines as your life's work go poof, and waking up looking into your face - the destroyer - and with blood on your own two hands.

Wash it as you may, the continuous red flow might go away but the guilt and scars remain. The cycle then continues. Again. And again. And again. And again.

Not anymore! I've suffered the burn for the last time. This battle has just gone up a notch, and I am not going to be on the losing end!

I'm all fired up and ready. This means war!!

Bed of Dust

Where's my Malay posts? I guess this baby here's turning into full English without me realizing. Whatever.

Hmm... I've been waking up to a bed of dust which frustrates the hell out of me. I wish this torment would just end, but I know better than that. It's going to take a while before this heals and I am determined to see this through to the end.

One day, I'm going to sleep like a baby, undisturbed by continuous distractions all night long, wake up to a clean day, feeling refreshed and well in my body. One day...

For now, I have to say that life is treating me rather fairly despite the bumps and holes. And, oh, I've gotten my first taste of CAL. So far so awesome! The intros that is. I hope the excitement stays until I nail the exams later. Much, much later...

I have also received my first homework from Miss Tee, my maths lecturer and class teacher (or was it something else they called her... I can't remember). So, people, as much as I'd love to stay and write long-winded posts, I have to excuse myself. My books are calling!

I need to get my old pace back if I were to ace Maths, Accounting (without the 's' please), Econs, Thinking (S)kills & Sociology. Yup! These are my companions for the next two years! Say hi, people!

p/s: My handwriting is damn ugly now. How am I going to write? 

Songs to be Sung

It was all still too early to tell. However, judging by the light of the morning sun and the smell of the wind, I can tell, this is gonna be a good day.

Hopefully, God will have the same plans. Hopefully, the light stays the same. I  couldn't bear another change in weather. Not so much because of the change but more so the need to adapt.

Life has been awfully sweet thus far, let's pray it stays this way, or better yet, be made even sweeter. Anyhow, let's not get our hopes up. I wouldn't want anyone's dream fall into my lap and shatter. No sir I wouldn't like that one bit!

So, here we are! Another fork in the road, another crossroad. I wonder... which way should I go?

Mind of A Writer, Words of A Wanderer

Another dawn. It was a cool day, the winds light and soft bringing with it good tidings and a promise of rain. Good. It's been moons since the last downpour. One more week and the earth will die, along with it my livestock.

***

It was a splendid day to be out. And yet here I am, locked up within the confines of these walls. I should've been out in the open. For the umpteenth time my little voice spoke up. Hush!

Sitting down at the edge of my bed, I heard the snores from my family. Sound asleep, in the lands of dreams they were leaving me behind. Just like last night. Just like every night.

The normal sounds accompany me: the speakers, the fan, the air-conditioning as well as the steady rumble of my laptop. Tonight the mood is adventure and for that occasion, Sanctuary has been set on replay for the past hour or so. I don't mind, I love the mood and atmosphere. It fits the situation.

You know, I can't help but think of two things tonight. Actually three now that I've really started to get my brain running.

One, how I wish I could've saved one of my grandest writing of all time. A piece I wrote in the exams. It was at that precise moment my body, brain and imagination became one and the same. It was that moment went I literally stepped into the papers.

Of course, I vividly remembered the story line yet what I longed for was to see the sequence of words, the way they lined up to one another, the former a perfect match for the latter, the slant of my handwriting, the bright blue ink with the occasional smudge and the paragraphs of emotion they contained.

Second, a word from the lips of friends 'Don't you want to write a book?'. Now that they've mentioned it, I daresay, that is a mighty good idea chum! And again, why have not I started on it?

Frankly, I don't know. I don't have a clue as to what I have done the past half a year. I don't seem to have grown at all - mentally I mean. I don't know why I've slowly reduced the frequency of my reading and stop altogether. I don't have a reason. I don't have a clue. I don't have nothing to say.

Third, could I have wasted all this time listening instead of recording? It pretty much seems that way to me now as I sit blanketed in the dead of night. Well then, if so, what good has come from it?

Even as I type this, the answer comes clear & crystal to me : I failed to get a copy of the essay because deep in me lies another story worth telling and writing, something bigger, better, badder and to unlock that door, I am in a transition to open my eyes to new ways of expressing my thoughts and ideals. The first step it seems is to listen & learn because there is no destination in language, just an endless journey.

This is the mind of a writer... This is the words of a wanderer..

Painstakingly Euphoric

From bruises to cuts to scars. I LOVE it!!
Keep em' comin'!!

Deserted City

Unlike most people, I don't live on Facebook. I live in a real world, with real people and real dilemmas. For those of you out there still trapped in a web of untruths and fantasies, it's time to come to my deserted city.

Wipe the dust off, let's start afresh & anew. The end.

Boredom Kills. I'm Dead

The weekends was A-W-E-SOME! And now that all the commotion has ended, so has the vibe and energy that went with it. Hello boredom!

How I wish I could post my mp3 to this blog. Then I wouldn't need to change the tunes every once in a while. If only I had a magic lamp.. but alas, reality is not so.

How I wish I had my books. They've never left me behind whenever they went to places far and away. They've never failed in delivering me to a place so wonderful. They've never let me die in boredom even for a second, but alas, I have left them.

So dear world, sorry for being the selfish fool I am, but I have to go away. The music beckons, and now I must go before I die a second death. Goodnight moon.

Memories

There was once a child of the universe. Far did she travel to a place of gathering. And there did she observe the world, trying to fathom the mechanics of it all from the lenses of a person unknown.

Never had she seen herself in the mirror of alchemist. Nor had she dreamed of it, and yet, there she was.

Desperate to grasp the ideas and overwhelming information thrust into her frail frame, she grew and sowed the seeds of skepticism. Skepticism in herself and her abilities and her strength.

However, being the type of fighter she was, she held herself with the help of a circle of companions true to the end. Dead in the night she traveled through the pages of knowledge, sailing the seas of information, navigating the maze of numbers, braving the depths of the unknown.

With each day, she grew stronger. Of body and mind. With each word, she grew sharper. Of mind and body. With each second, she grew older. Of body. Yet younger of mind.

And in all that paradox of time, she burst out of her cocoon, stretching and flexing, wings spread far apart. A beautiful butterfly with wings painted from the hues of memories.

High and higher she flapped. Until finally, she grasp the stars and the moon. There she remained, a silhouette of symmetrical proportion, majestic and amazing. An image of black on shining white moon stretched upon a never-ending canvas of night sky with stars.

Believe In Wonderland ^.^

Stand up, comrade! Stand up straight!

Remember why you were brought here. Remember why you stand here. Remember who you're fighting for.

Let the rhythm fuel your every step, listen to the beat and dance. Smile like a fool. Laugh like an old fart. Fart and let the winds bring the smell of victory to the four corners of the world! Let there be fart!

Let there be sunshine, water and wind. Let yourself bloom free and wild. Grow, grow, grow and grow~

Life is not but a wonderland you can believe in. Believe in it! Design your life, mold it, shape it, be the architect & engineer of life. Your life.

Tag along with others in the roller-coaster. Tumble, stumble and bend double all you like but don't fall too deep. Breathe in. Breathe out. Do you feel the air? Can you taste it?

***

As the underclass hero, you deserve the best. But the best may be hiding...

I don't want this moment to ever end,
Where everything's nothing without you,
I'd wait here forever just to see you smile,
'Cause it's true, I am nothing without you.

Through it all, I've made my mistakes.
I stumble and fall, but I mean these words.

I want you to know,
With everything I won't let this go.
These words are my heart and soul.
I'll hold on to this moment, you know,
As I bleed my heart out to show,
And I won't let go.

-Sum41-

Smiles, cheers, flowers, rain & sunshine~

Come Tumbling Down

A new page has been opened. Ah, my long wait...ended. The journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step is what they say. My first step. One down. Nine thousand nine hundred ninety nine to go.

Gotta be ready for anything and everything. Mind all set! Body all set! Hey-ho let's go!!

A new start is always hard but mark me, I'll get through. No turning back, no running away. Come, come tumbling down. I'll be there, I'll get there. You just watch.

No time to lose. No time to waste. Time well wasted is time well spent. So waste away I'd say. Random, so damn random. I hate this. Need to get my thoughts straight, set my aim, eyes on the prize.

Well, it's time like this you turn to me, myself and I. Afterall, who else has got your back?