Changes

اَلسَّلَامُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ اللهِ وَبَرَكَا تُهُ

Alhamdulillah, another year has passed. The year 2012 was more than I could've hoped for. I met amazing new friends and made some lasting memories. Most importantly, I went on a journey of change.

It was not something that I planned for but it was surely in His plans for me. For that, I am ever grateful. And He made it easy for me by sending friends to help me along the way. My family encouraged too, alhamdulillah :)

However, 'easy' does not mean it was an unchallenging path. I've hit so many bumps, fell down countless holes and I still carry the scars to show it.

My hope and du'a for this coming year is for Allah to grant me the strength to carry on in this path - the route He has chosen for me. I am still at a lost. I still have not found my footing yet.

Life is like a pendulum. My life at least. The second I was born, He started my journey by initiating the swing. And through my 20 years, I have swayed back and forth. Sometimes to the right. Other times to the left. Occasionally altering my path away from the regular left-right motion. 

And like a pendulum, the arc of my swing has been getting smaller. No one's arc will ever get longer. In fact we are all in a limbo, a countdown that was predetermined by the first swing. Some have it in them to reach 100, while some never saw the world - only breathing the air once before their journey ends. The are even those whose time was too short we do not know for certain if they'd lived at all.

One day, all of us will stop.

I can only pray that when I do, I stop in the best spot possible. No, that came out wrong. I now know that it is insufficient to 'just pray for the best'. We can work for the best too!

This deen is a religion based on effort. I do believe how much you put in to make something work (relative to your full potential) counts in His eyes. But do you know your maximum capacity? Chances are, you know nothing of it. 

That is why we all have to work to the best of our abilities to reach our desired target. Frankly, I have not done nearly enough for myself this last year. Now the time has come when everyone sets their resolution(s) for the upcoming year.

What's mine?

I'd rather not tell. Whatever it is, I'll strive for it all the way, bumps, holes, thorns and pain all in. And maybe the chunks of happiness I find along the way, that too I'll take in.

Maybe this year I'll do something for someone else's life instead for a change. Why not cut the crap and not be selfish for once?

There's only so much we can do before our pendulum comes to a halt.

"How much time do we have left?"

"Not much. Not much..."