22 June 2012


اَلسَّلَامُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ اللهِ وَبَرَكَا تُهُ

Hmm.. Lama rasanya tak menulis dalam bahasa Melayu. Post ni pendek saja, sekadar menjadi ingatan kepada diri saya pada masa hadapan, dan juga sesiapa yang membaca. Kitakan manusia belaka, memang dah adat dan fitrah manusia itu dilahirkan pelupa. So here goes...

Kita selalu sebut pada lidah "Aku redha itu, aku redha ini," tapi sebenarnya redha itu dalam hati. Redha pada mulut memang senang, tapi nak redha dalam hati itu yang payah.

Waktu senang, mudah saja nak redha. Bibir tak henti terkumat-kamit pujian, lidah tak kering menyebut alhamdulillah. Inipun fitrah: apabila senang kita senang terima. Senang hati meredhakan keadaan.

Tapi bila di waktu susah, waktu sempit, lain ceritanya. Berapa ramailah sangat manusia yang cukup kuat hatinya (bukan lidahnya) untuk redha dalam keadaan sebegitu. Bila kematian ahli keluarga, bila kehilangan harta benda, bila yang diminta tak dapat. Di bibir memang tak nampak, tapi dalam hati siapa yang tahu? Terdetik untuk sesaat kata hati "Kenapa aku?" "Ini tak adil" "Balik balik aku yang kena" semuanya dalam sedar tak sedar menuding jari pada Allah.

Putus asanya bukan main nyata. Tapi tak hairanlah, kerana dalam Quran pun ada sebut sifat manusia yang suka kebaikan menimpa tetapi mudah putus asa dalam diuji [41:49]

Kita semua tahu segala sesuatu itu datang dari Allah, tapi kita mudah lupa terutamanya apabila dalam kesusahan. Inipun diterangkan dalam Quran [4:78]

Jadi, berdoalah. Doa itukan senjata rahsia umat Islam :) [40:60] Kita kena belajar yakinkan diri, dan lagi penting yakinkan hati dengan janji Allah [3:160]

Seperkara lagi, kita selalu ucap "Allah is the best planner," tapi kenapa bila qadar & qada' Allah tak seiring dengan qadar kita, kita menjadi orang pertama yang mengeluh? Rezeki, jodoh pertemuan, kejayaan, kegagalan, itu semuakan urusan Allah. Kita hanya berusaha, doa & tawakkal.

Allah tak mungkin zalim. Betapa kuat usaha kita, begitulah balasannya. Cuma sesekali, kita rasa dizalimi kerana apa yang kita mahukan tak diberi dalam bentuk yang kita nak. Tapi ingat, ilmu Allah itu halus, Dia lebih tahu apa yang kita perlukan, bila masa terbaik untuk kita terima dan sebagainya [42:12]

So, mari kita didik hati supaya redha, jangan hanya disebut di lidah ya? Wallahua'lam :)

13 June 2012


When we are void of ideas, we need to expose ourselves to something new to get that fresh vibe, in order to reclaim the steady flow of words.

But all I did for the past fortnight of holidays was sleep, sleep and more sleep. To my body, this is pure bliss. To me, this is nonsense!

End of the first point.

The next point: conflict. To choose between fun and games and fun and games. Which one do I choose? Which must I choose? It may not mean any difference to you but when all you have is one month of holiday, it (the choices to be made on a daily basis) too becomes this: nonsense!


07 June 2012

What happened that night

See, he was very tired that day. He couldn't remember all the details but yeah, he was so very tired that day. But see, though he was very tired that day, he was restless the whole night. There was this little something that weighed heavily on his mind and on his tongues and on his frame. He wished so very badly that he could muster any courage to ask that one question to that one person. But see, big as the thing that forced his mind and his eyes and his body to stay awake, bigger still was the big big question: How will he do it? (If he ever will).

So then there's this thing people called Google, where you type things into it and ask questions and it will answer, or where you key in that half-forgotten quotes you half remember from books, movies, amazing people, dead people, fictional people, not very friendly people and this thing - this Google - tells you all about it. I would say that is enough about this whole Google thing, but you see, you can even drag and drop pictures even half pictures even half of a half of a picture and wise Mr. Google will tell you all about it. So enough about this whole Google thing.

Then, you see, he started asking Google about lots and lots of things he never thought of asking anyone before, and some things he did want to ask but couldn't find the right people to ask or if he did find the right people it was always with the not-so-right time, or if he did find the right people and the right time, it was always with the not-so-right place. You get the idea, right?

So drowned in his questions, he did not feel sleepy that night, although I must say his body must be all objections and objections because I swear I can hear his body having a yell at him for not letting his eyes and his fingers and his brains (he was thinking too much, I thought he must have grown two or three or four noggins that night) sleep. His heart did not complain though for it was used to working day and night pumping that red thing through his body. But his other heart was a different case, for it was fighting a different fight. It was yearning and screaming to get this done and over with.

This chaotic but silent war raged on for hours. The whole world was asleep in slumber land, but had this clash been audible, I'm sure the whole place would think its the start of another world war.

And you know how that in times of panic and anomie, people just could never think straight? He was thinking all bends and curves and junctions that night. If there was ever a more bendy and curvy thing I don't know what it is.

So, seeing as how bendy and curvy his mind was, it took him over four long hours to set things straight. He put his phone on the side table. He got out of bed. He walked five steps to the washroom and performed ablution. He then spread the mat used for prayers and did four rakaats of prayers. Two for asking for forgiveness and certain wishes. Two for guidance so that He may show him what to do. Four, in total, to calm himself.

Now not a raging inferno of emotions anymore, he sat on his bed. He had done his part and now all that is left is to wait. For a sign. Any sign. Tired of waiting, or maybe this was the first sign, he opened a translation of the Book. And there it was, a verse directly telling about the thing he wanted answered. By this time, you should have somehow realised how much better God is compared to Google. So, that's one question answered.

Now, the how. So he looked back at a web page he had read a few hours ago. He copied the link and was thinking it through for the last time. He knew there was no turning back. This was a once in a lifetime thing. If it succeeds, it should go well, God-willing. If he fails, well let's not go there shall we? The moment of truth. One more button to press and it should be over. He pressed it.

Only it was the wrong one. The one time he was sure of it, he had pressed the one button he had never once in his one life pushed. Even once!

And just like that, the second sign was given to him, smack dab in his face! In a way, and I'm very sure this is what was going through him then,"This is not the right way to do it. The decision was right, the first sign says so. But your methods are down right wrong."

What happened later was a series of incomprehensible words, ughs and argghs followed by a complete shutdown of his body system and a numb feeling in his body all due to being kicked in the ass by Lord Almighty. The end.