25 April 2012


Life is full of wonders for wanderers. Everything created into this world has a meaning bore into its very creation. At the core of each and all of us lie our essence - what makes us who, what we are and how or why we are us not him, not her nor it. Us.

Visualise a tree now. A young tree. A baby tree. What do they call it these days? Ah, seedlings I think if my memory permits. Yes, seedlings. When you see a seed, what does it mean to you?

Just a seed, no?

I'm afraid so too...

But what if that seed would grow into a fruit-bearing tree one day. And in your most desperate hour of desperation, left to bleed and die and decay and rot, the fruit from the tree born from that seed becomes your only salvation? No, not even the fruit! The leaves! One leaf from the hundreds it has, plucked from the shoots by winds too rough, to sway in the preceeding winds. Swaying back and forth as if tied to a pendulum of fate to land on your gaping mouth which a second ago was thrown ajar by suffocating lungs to catch whatever air is left in the thick air.

And from that slimmest of chances, you survived for just one more day. And just like that a meaningless seed has become one last meaningful day of your life.

So, friends, treassure the seeds you see around you. You never know what meaning they can bring into your days in this world and the Hereafter.

20 April 2012

Star-dotted Seas

When the engines start to growl and the steady hum grew loud until as if on cue it peaks off. Next thing you know is you are so deep in your seat, the plane accelerating a tad faster than you did. That is the best feeling. Even with the discomfort of pressure imbalance waging silent wars in your ears, I don't mind in fact that adds to the whole experience.

Then, as eventful as every nightsleep. Not eventful in the least.

An hour pass. Two, eventhough it felt longer. Another half of half an hour. And the announcement. Sighs of relief all around, as if the past two hours in flight had been a competition for whoever can hold their breath longer and the announcement was that of the name of a winner, if any.

There was no game in reality. But for me there was. In a faraway place called Panem. I let out a sigh too - because it means my brand of game has to stop now.

The descend. Again the war of air in, air out. This time it's not so calm and I had to chew mentos to help fight off the worse of it. The lights was dimmed. Standard protocol they said though I don't see the point.

It was then that I chanced a look out the oval window. Night had fallen and I didn't even realise. I also saw stars, clusters of it - sprinkled evenly by God's hands. Each sparkling in and our of existence at regular intervals. In and out, in and out. Or so I thought. But then I saw a cluster of stars I recognize immediately. These were closed-dotted; a familiar sight in cities: the multicoloured beams of cityscape.

Wait. Since when this stars drop to the earth? Or was it that in my two-hour journey - oblivious as I was - our cities have risen to the heavens? No, both of it doesn't make the tiniest of sense. I squinted in the dark as if the smaller I made my eyes, the clearer it would be. Of course, it did not help if only reduce the amount of light entering my eyes and thus its ability to see.

Later, when we were low enough, and the city lights helped me see better, I found a star so close I could just make out its mast and sails. Boats. Hundreds of them! Littered across the dark sea and I also figured why they were zoning in and out: the nimbus of clouds were so dense in certain sections of the night sky that they completely blocked all light.

In that moment I fell in love. I have fallen for she who I haven't even touch, she who I have not even set my foot on. Love at first sight. But a fit was already forming deep in me. I didn't see anything. And that was why I loved her.

Love without a sight. That was our tie, our bond. And it was way better than those movies where the first eye contact means the world because I haven't laid eyes on her but she's already had me head over heels.

-posted from my phone. soory for any misspellings

18 April 2012

Sickness Is Health Reminded

We humans are forgetful beings in need of constant reminder. Left to forget, we would eventually stray afar. In being sick, I was reminded of what it felt like to be healthy.

I was just as sick throughout yesteryear - maybe worse. That time has passed and I remembered the value of good health. Now, I have forgotten. And for that, He has made me fall sick again. All to remind me what it means to be in good shape. Thank you, alhamdulillah :)

15 April 2012

Casting Shadows In Light

I threw the windows open and with that air rushed in - fresh and strong. I found it hard to believe that all along, I have been looking through lenses that were both dirt caked and opaque. And being the stupid fool I am, I fretted on and on about how I was blinded. Not anymore.

As of today, I have seen the light - the light that has banished the shadows of doubts that entangled my tongue and heart for thus long. My mind has been set free. When all this while, the keys to my prison had been in my possession, only today I feel its presence. The lock has unbolted and the cell door opened.

Thank you friend for freeing me. Though I doubt you would realise yourself as the reason behind my being freed, thank you still. You do not know the gravity of it all, how important this means to me. My pretense ends here. I am once again the new student in class. Today, I learn to read and write anew. Today, I am a kindergartener for the first time of my short live. And you, my teacher :)

12 April 2012

Bubble on Water

Did I ever tell you of me? No, maybe not. I was never good at opening up, I know. Well, at least, my traits have gained me much although I also know that it has caused me just as much. Nevertheless, I am me. And me? Just another nobody. I live but a silent life like that of a bubble on water.

Like a bubble, I am one of the many thousand. I look no different. Not to the eyes, not to the touch, not to the smell nor to the taste different. Though I may vary in size but alas, aren't we all changing in size day to day?

Like a floating bubble, I go with the flow of the winds. Where ever it may bring me, I follow. I do have destinations in mind, but when you're not the driver, what does your say carry? Nay a value I tell you! I rest easy knowing that the winds He blew are the best for me.

Like a simple bubble, I stay the same in any environment. Whether alone or in the company of others. Whether here or there. Until I pop out of existence. Hopefully, God-willing.

Like a lonely bubble, I float alone. I would float about for some time. Then, stop when I caught myself on a rock. Sharp as it may be, I didn't burst. Now tied to the earth, I would resolve to watching. Watching the stream as it went down and down and down hitting its face on the many facets of river rock, smoothing it out one little chip at a time. Watching my brothers swim in the river, the stream carrying away their worries. Watching the other clusters of families around me. Simply watching.

Then, as I began to give up hope of ever leaving this rock, a fellow bubble rub against my shoulder. Like foams, we pulled one another close. And with that I was finally uplifted from my perch. Now, safe and sound in my own cluster, I would wander with them until a stronger force pulls us apart. Or until I pop out of existence, whichever comes first.

Maybe then I would be reborn as another form of bubble. Is there another form other than the round, spherical one we all know? Wallahua'lam :)

04 April 2012

The Art of Letting Go

Assalamualaikum. Sometimes we forget. Forget that all our actions carry consequences. We forget that our lives are intertwined with all those surrounding us. When we get messed, they get tangled.

Kita semua insyaAllah familiar dengan hadis on how selepas matinya anak Adam, terputuslah semua amalan except tiga...

Saya tahu maybe doa saya untuk dia tak sampai, or maybe not. Entahlah, ilmu pun tak setinggi mana nak nilai. Tapi setidak-tidaknya, saya kena putuskan semua link dengan kawan-kawan yang dah berlalu pergi. Bukan apa, takut-takut disebabkan aku, dia terseksa, bertambah dosa.

Letting go is hard but to see and to find out one day that a dear friend suffered due to your ignorance is harder. So, I'll let go. Biarlah aku tak dapat tengok muka dia lagi, asalkan kami berdua selamat :)


Fact #1: Today was the most unproductive I've been in months. Yep, I admit. I wasted my whole day staring into space, listening to nothing, looking at nothing, doing nothing. I sort of liked it too. That is what made the day so miserable. I could've used the time for a million things, but I didn't and now I couldn't retrieve the lost time.

Fact #2: They say that time well wasted is time well spent. They have many names. The procrastinators. The do-laters. The wait-till-I-feel-like-it-ors. But I know better. I know they're simply lying. A waste is a waste no matter how you look at it. This is the truth, the sad truth.

Fact #3: How you measure 'waste' is very personal and subjective. I may be deceiving myself but I would like to look at today as a lesson. What did I learn? A bit of this and that. What did I gain from all those nothingness? A bit of something. At the very least, I now know better than to repeat the same thing I did.

In conclusion, I'd say it and I'd say it proudly too: TODAY WAS NOT A TOTAL WASTE!

*It's true then, that time well wasted is time well spent. Depends on how you look at it actually :)

03 April 2012

The Candle Is Lit

Life's simple pleasures are sometimes the best. A cup of apple juice. A chocolate bar. The perfect combination of songs. A soft bed. Pillows. If my smile was a candle, then the candle is lit.

Life's simple pleasures are sometimes the best. A cup of apple juice. A chocolate bar. The perfect combination of songs. A soft bed. Pillows. If my smile is still a candle, then smoke is all that's left...

Life's simple pleasures...are not eternal. But they are sometimes the best :)