27 January 2012

Turn of Wheel

As you grow, you forget to celebrate the one special day you turn a year older. Soon, it comes and goes and you don't even think twice of it. But when we were younger, that day holds a meaning - a meaning so great words will not do it justice. You and I both know how it feels. How it felt.

Lil' bro, have fun while you still can. I'm not saying you don't when you get older, just that it's not so carefree as it would be today. So make the most of it. Once the wheels turn, there's no going back. Happy 11th to my favourite brother!

Not the most recent pic :)
Still as cute though.

Oh, wait. I only have one brother :p

21 January 2012

Untitled : Desert Bloom

I have often wondered what would've happened if I had taken another path in the course of my life. Would I be the same as I am now? Would I still have met the same people I knew now?

Last night, we had another one of our little adventures. Just a few hours of going out, exploring and laughs. It was good to be able to loosen up a bit. We all needed it direly. Then, it was off to a late dinner.  And that's where it started.

The traffic. The misery of moving mere metres every few minutes. The rows and rows of red lights one after another. The never ending procession of cars. And a couple of rude, irresponsible drivers. The list goes on.

Problem was, it was just a normal thing here. But somehow it felt different this time round. I felt differently. Detached from the vessel of my body, distant from the meek talks and occasional laughter. I wonder, this time delving deeper than ever, why do I stay?

Oblivious as I was, their words meant nothing to me at that time. Two floors and one rude driver after that we were out and running. Only to be stopped dead in the jam outside. What a life we all have!

Dinner was awfully filling. I was ready to drop from hunger, so I appreciate the portion I got. But, still the loneliness hung over me. How awkward? To feel lonesome in the midst of friends in the middle of a bustling city bursting with the joy of night-life on a Friday night. The world passed by.

It was there, walking to the car that I heard the question. Not knowing why, of all the exchanges that night, this one did not escape me.

"Did you really want to be here?"

It took a moment to realize though, that they were all looking at me. Avoiding the query, I stepped inside the vehicle. Silence followed. Then my voice came out, dry and hoarse from keeping shut too long. The answer couldn't be clearer.


Blue, red, gold and green. I have followed the story with much enthusiasm. Yet, I find myself questioning my understanding of the artwork all the time. It seems that always something new comes in, or perhaps I did not focus on the details the first, second and third time through making new details visible the next I read it.

The ending was just as I have expected: beautiful, joyous with a mix of sorrow. Full of uncertainty but with a warranty for many more good to come, both for the characters as well as the world's populace as a whole. An ending. Also a new beginning. Full of hope and hopeless too (in a good sense).

Nevertheless, a sweet cut to a long and beautifully woven piece of art. The way I look at it, I imagine it to be a piece of cloth that started with a plain thread but has now become a Batik with a loose end at one corner, small and insignificant but capable of disintegrating the whole woven structure with a tug.

Life, it seems, is not so different now is it?

I wouldn't have wished for anything more than to be somewhere in the woods in the singular white structure I would call my home just observing and gaining new perspectives and ideas to put into paper. To write and write my life away in the closeness of mother nature. What joy it would be!

One day, I'll make it come true. A house in the woods. A paper to write on. A life to dwell on and hours upon hours of pen on paper without another car to worry me. I'll be just like the eagle I want to raise: free. A flower in the scorching heat of desert sun. A novel written but untitled. Free.

03 January 2012

3 Days Past

A mighty long break I would say. Yep, and I wonder why myself. Is it that much I have changed I ask you? Well, whosoever shall answer me is anyone's guess. Not me, no. Not me.

Things happen you see. And you never have a say. We all get thrown in the bucket called life. Sometimes we rise to the top. Other times we fall and hit the bottom. Hard. There, at times we get lucky and end up at the spot where that singular light from the single hole shines unto us. Other times? We're blinded by shadows. Nevertheless, thrown all the same. Again and again and again.

Fate can be cruel at times. But men are crueler still. Not all though, no. Just a few. And yet I do not know why because of the deeds of few, all men are branded cruel and evil and shrewd and many more such things better left unsaid.

Similarly, and humorously too, man is stamped all the time in the manner I have stated. I have watched it many a times. I have experienced it many a times.

Forget-me-not. I wish for all of us to learn as we come to a new year. Forget-me-not.

Why is it all too easy for you and I to loose and change our perception of objects, people and places regardless of all prior circumstances.

We cherish a new belonging. Only to curse it when it fail you once when in truth it had served its purpose and more countless times before.

We admire new destinations the minute we set our eyes on it. Yet we blame the place when what we once saw as the most beautiful, the most amazing sights turn sour and unsightly. Never has it occurred to you that the human eyes deteriorate faster than magnificent buildings?

Saddest of all, we love the people we meet in life's cycle. Family, friends and lovers alike. Only to hate the sight of them, to loath their voice, to forget their rights because of one wrong.

Because of the one thing they didn't say. Compared to the hundreds they had said.

Because of the one thing they didn't do. Compared to the thousands they had done.

Because of the one thing they missed. Compared to the millions of wonderful things they noticed of you.

Because of the one time they didn't wish you for your birthday. Compared to the lifetime of good wishes they had for you whether spoken out loud or not.

Because of one faulty action.

Then there are those that forget not because of what was not done. These are those that forget because of things done wrongly.

One mistake. To God-knows-how-many rights.

One accident. To the God-knows-how-many deliberate actions.

One slip of tongue. To all the good things they mentioned of you be it with you knowing it or not.

One hurt. Compared to all the cures they had provided.

Forget-me-not. Forget-you-not. Forget-us-not. Forget them never.

Oh, and Happy New Year. Try to be happy for the year. There's a reason they wish it with a "Happy" upfront instead of a "Sad". New years are fine and all but a new self is better is it not? After all, people cherish new things in life :)